Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
