hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
