since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He? As in you personified your dick?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
