Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
