Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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