I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
