I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
