Only a mothe r could love this liver
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
