By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
