remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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