Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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