I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
