Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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