oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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