what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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