i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Let's get the cat blown out
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
