I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
