pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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