put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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