Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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