this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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