you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
