hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish my penis had an off switch
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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