Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
