I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
