My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
