shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
