Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
