Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
