Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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