She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
