I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
