What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
