I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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