That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
