oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
