Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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