If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
