Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
God I need to hump something, right now.
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