You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Bring me that man meat
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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