Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
