shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
