Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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