Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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