dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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