i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
