i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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