the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
