So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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