hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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